Ohana, Aloha. So it’s been about two weeks since I have been here. It’s so weird. I feel like I have been here for so long and it was so long ago that I was in Azusa hanging out in parks and freezing my booty off in Denver. You all would be so proud of me because I don’t wear five thousand layers and I am always the only one who doesn’t think its cold-a change from always being the cold one.
I’m trying to think of what I should tell you but honestly I have no idea. I could tell you about how much sand I have in my dreads, or how much sun has been captured into my skin, or how hot the brazilian boys I met today were or how much I love riding in the back of trucks and how great Acai bowls are.

I could tell yo u how much beauty lies on this island from the sight of storms rolling in to the people to the orchards, hibiscuses and plumerias.

But I think I should cut through the surface and tell you what is really going on in my heart (naturally). I don’t know how many of you really know where I was before I came here, but I was in this spot where I questioned God and life so much that I had a hard time loving God-I had a lot of moments where I didn’t even think God was real. So you can imagine coming to a place so spiritually based pretty difficult. Mmmm…welp it has been. It has been a soul and mind battle-I feel like this is kind of becoming a daily pattern for me. But it’s really hard to go against the grain and not believe in God. I see God’s presence in so many people’s lives. I am constantly hearing people’s testimonies and constantly hearing incredible stories of how God has provided for STN. Who or what is it that provides free ipods and watches to people every week, donates the exact amount of money to people who are in need of it, and gives away cars, tvs, food, clothes and money to homeless people? There are moments when I want to resist and say that it is just coincidence but I have come to realize that is just stupid.
I have a hard time being here because I don’t know why I am here. I am not really into the ministry that STN does, although I think they do great things, its just not really for me. I don’t know if I really agree with a lot of comments that are thrown around. I feel really guilty because I feel like I am on vacation. I don’t understand the use of talking to a homeless person for 30 minutes a week. It scares me and trips me out though because I know I am supposed to be here. Someone told me the other day that “People don’t just show up at STN, God brings people here”. They went on to say that it is because of the prayer of parents, of friends, of people here that makes people come. It weirds me out-WHY AM I HERE? I am used to doing things because it will prepare me for the future in one way or another, so it is kind of weird being here and not really understanding how this fits into my life that I like to think I have planned out. Its weird because if you would have talked to me one month ago I would have probably told you that God didn’t do things for people-I liked to think of life more as a flow of coincidences. I don’t think I can really believe that anymore, and it is really hard for me to admit.
One of the requirements to finish this internship I am in is to do an outreach with STN. STN is known for its outreaches to Bali, Sri Lanka and all these crazy places that hate Jesus. There are also outreaches to the different islands in Hawaii. There is one coming up in a few weeks to Molokai. When I first found out about this requirement I thought to myself-I am NOT going on a mission’s trip. I feel like that would be sinning against Global Studies. And plus I have begged for money from supporters for too long and have never written thank you notes :-S…uh sorry friends. Anyways. As I thought about it though I realized that I shouldn’t put the creator of this universe in a box. At first I told myself that I would not send out letters to people-if God wanted me to go then he would provide. But I realized that I should put a little effort in, so here I am adding this into my letter/blog. From what I hear Molokai is the island where all the lepers were sent. It is the type of island where t he people live off the land. There aren’t too many people that live there and is a very chill place. I obviously want to go for selfish reasons. It seems like a dream place for me-where western society hasn’t taken control. But I guess I don’t want to go if it is not what God wants for me. And I don’t know if I want to go anyways because I don’t really know what the point of me going is, except for a great traveling experience. I think what I am going to learn from being here is that I don’t always have to do things that fit into my life shaping plan-its okay to do things that I don’t know what the purpose of them is. And I need to stop placing times in my life where God can use me and not allowing every moment to be God’s. Oh yeah, while on Molokai we will be doing random service-STN has gone for the past I don’t know how many years, and has built a lot of friendships with the people there so we just show up and are put to work around the island. I think they started to build a skate park last time and so maybe we will work on that, but I don’t know. So in all honesty, I don’t know why I should go and I don’t even know the point of going, but I am sure that our creator does, and I am doing what I should. I am saying “I’m willing to go”. The trip is $300. So I am asking that if you really feel God or whatever it is that you feel, telling you to donate some money to me, please do, or don’t I guess. If you want to donate money you can do it a few ways. You can write a check out to Surfing the Nations and send it into
Surfing the Nations
P.O. Box 29393
Honolulu, Hawaii
96820
You can also send me a birthday present too :) haha. Just joking. Or you can make an online donation by going to http://www.surfingthenations.com/ and going to the contributions section which will send you to an information page about online contributions. Funny how that happens. But make sure for either way you send money that you write Whitney Willett on the memo line.
Sorry this got pretty long-I’m sure a lot of you didn’t even make it to the end of this, but if you did, thank you for caring enough about me to read my long blog :)

Oh yes. And for those of you who really care about me and pray for me I have a few prayer requests.
As I kind of mentioned I am having a hard time giving my whole life to the creator of this universe and father of Jesus. Pray that I will lay my pride aside and surrender my life.
My first prayer that I prayed for myself when I got here was that I would find someone who I could talk to and have real conversations with. It has gotten better but I just haven’t really found that person that I really connect with.
That I wouldn’t be swept up in the greatness of all this-I don’t want some spiritual high or anything, I want my feelings to be real and I don’t want to be brainwashed into believing whatever everyone around me is believing. (I hope that makes sense)
Mahalo and Aloha Ohana.
P.S. I thought of you Mzzz Betty while I was walking around UH’s campus-you went there for a while right? I hope so or else I just thought of you. : )