freedom

I've started reading other people's blogs and it's inspired me. I've also found that I have stopped writing, and maybe that's why I haven't felt so much passion lately. Usually writing about my experiences and what I see stirs the life up in me and causes me to want change to take place.

This past few weeks I have been irritated by all the rules I have to follow; texting my supervisor before I leave campus, asking for permission to go across town, not being able to go by myself, with out a boy in the group, girls have to be back by 9 PM, or take an expensive taxi, there must be two girls to every boy whenever going out, can't talk to a guy for more than two minutes. I've felt so confined, and like a caged bird. I just wanted to get out and fly.

(taken in Younan Province, 2006)

I've been having a rough time getting out of bed in the morning for my quiet time. The snooze button keeps getting pushed and sleep keeps conquering the slight desire i have to get up and spend time with God. So this morning I put my alarm clock across the room and forced myself to get up at 6AM to meet God on the roof. I got up there and was so happy to be in the cool overcast morning, which I know will only last until 8. As I just poured out my heart to God, I began to look for verses and passages that talk about freedom. I wanted to be reminded of the freedom I have in Christ. So I came across 2 Corinthians which talks about the Glory of the New Testament. I wasn't so hooked on it, and didn't look so deep into the passage, but one verse stuck out like a soar thumb.

"Whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away"

I know this has to do with Moses and the veil he wore so that the Israelites wouldn't see the bright radiance , but it reminded me of a prayer I prayed all the time while I was in Rajasthan. It was that the spiritual and physical veil of the women of Rajasthan would be removed as people come to know Christ. That the veil which covered the Marwari people, and kept them from seeing the beauty of Christ would fall, and his glory would appear.

(Krishnanagar village, Rajasthan, 2009)

As I was reminded to pray for the Marwari women, I realized that I have SOOOOO much freedom compared to them, and that I am a free bird flying across the sky, landing in whichever land I find enticing and am able to enjoy that land.

(Kathmandu, Nepal 2007)

I'm so thankful for the word of God, that each day is new, the pain of yesterday, the laziness of yesterday, the bad attitude of yesterday doesn't have to stick with me to today, that I have been made anew and alive in Christ today.

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

-Solomon

It's the small things that count

Pluck this little flower and take it, delay not! I fear lest it droop and drop into the dust.

I may not find a place in thy garland, but honour it with a touch of pain from thy hand and pluck it. I fear lest the day end before I am aware, and the time of offering go by.

Though its colour be not deep and its smell be faint, use this flower in thy service and pluck it while there is time.

Rabindranath Tagore

Beautiful day. It's a choice.

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we've taken
Lay down your regrets cause
all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
it's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
it's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I'm gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses
and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in
touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like
you've got something to prove
Remind yourself that there's only one you
Just take a moment to give
thanks of who you are

Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
it's a Beautiful Day

"Beautiful Day" India Arie

Just Pray.

It’s not so difficult. It’s really not complicated. You just pray.

Why is it that I’ve been able to submit some things to Christ, but tightly hold on to others? I just met with my research assistant and went over my questions that I will use to interview people about their growing up discriminated against because of their caste. At the end she prayed for me. She committed everything to God. My paper, what I write, who I interview, everything. She prayed this prayer with such sincerity, really relying on God to guide me. During the prayer she recited Psalms 121 which begins with “I look to the mountains-does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” It gave me such peace to know that during this time of research and school I simply need to call upon God to give me strength. And he REALLY does care about my research, each word I type, everything.

He says: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

He tells us to not doubt “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1:6

I don’t think I mean a lot of the prayers I really pray. I don’t think God will really answer them, that’s why I pray them every day. Haha. If I just prayed them with such sincerity of heart, I’m sure I wouldn’t spend so much time on the same prayers-for years. I would expand my concerns to things far greater than me.

My team was talking about a conference/meeting they have in the north where everyone gathers with the sick. People travel so far with their animals to have them prayed over so they will be healed. It sounds funny at first, to pray for your cow to be healed. But when you think about it, if you have no money to buy a new cow, if you have no way of replacing the cow, you will do ANYTHING to have that cow healed-you depend on God, because God is the only one who can do something. I was thinking about if I was in that situation I would simply buy a new cow, or a tractor for that matter. I wouldn’t ask God to heal it. I might not even think of it. Maybe I would pray, but in the back of my mind I would be thinking about how I could just buy another one.
I am gaining confidence in the prayers I pray, I’m learning to back my prayers up with sincere faith. It’s hard removing the world from my heart, but I’m trying to do that, and allow faith in Jesus to fill that spot.

life is wild.

Yesterday night I attended the graduation for the 10th grade class of the Good Shepherd High School, along with the Teachers Training program which sends teachers out into the Good Shepherd schools. I watched as one graduate cried on her mother’s shoulder. I’m sure her tears weren’t saying “Thank you it’s finally over!” as mine would have said, but I imagine her tears were saying “Thank you God for educating me, for caring enough about me to allow me to carve a future for myself that is different than the rest of the women of my village”

At school the children all look so nice in their uniforms, and like they could come from the nicest of homes. But really most of these kids come from little shacks, homes built of pipes, or an orphanage. Most of the members of their families are illiterate and work hard labored jobs. God has placed this school in this community so that these specific children can get an education. One of the speakers asked the graduates who would pursue a career that would allow them to give back to their community of the Dalits. Each one of the students stood up. These kids know the blessing of their education and will not take advantage of it.

I often times find myself telling people back in the US that life is just life here, nothing special or different, just a daily routine. One day after saying this I had a prayer meeting with my team. I don’t know how I ever thought that life here was nothing special. As I dug into prayer I realized the heaviness and seriousness of my life. I’m in the midst of people who are tormented by spiritual warfare, with witchcraft being done on them, evil spirits invading their lives. God has chosen ME to be HERE. It really could be seen as mundane and an everyday task, anyone can think that about their life, but anyone can also see each day as the wildest day ever. I’m thankful that God has revealed this to me.

Life is wild, no matter where you live and what you do. Many of us have the opportunity to breathe, to embrace the sunshine, to laugh, sing, rejoice and praise God. Let’s do that today.