Sunday, May 16, 2010

silence.

Some days in India can be too much. Too much pollution. Too much poverty. Too much disparity between the rich and the poor. Too much pain in the eyes you look into as you pass people by in the auto rickshaw. The intensity and hardship that is expressed in a man’s eyes as he carries a heavy load on the back of his wagon bicycle. The desperation in a begging woman’s eyes wearing a sari clumsily wrapped around her body. It looks as though it is her only piece of clothing and she’s been wearing it for years. Religious clashes that have heightened and killed two policemen. Too much begging. Things that money can’t solve. Too many emotions are expressed on the crowded busy streets of Hyderabad. The temperature is too high. Above the hundreds. Sometimes it is too much for my sensitive spirit that wants to heal all people and create a world that lives in harmony.

On another note, I just returned from a week long adventure in Kerala. Kerala is a state on the south western tip of India. It is known as “God’s own country”. It is a tropical climate. Your eyes cannot possibly scan the horizon without seeing a dozen palm trees. Every kind of tropical tasty fruit grows in Kerala. Papaya, Mango, Coconut, at least 5 different kinds of Bananas, bell fruit, passion fruit, you name it, they have it. Although Hughie, Sara and I spent half of each of our first 4 days in Kerala on buses, trains, or boats traveling, it was a relaxing, amazing time. We enjoyed singing along to Hughie playing the guitar of Ukulele as we sped through the jungle on a rusty bus with no glass in its windows. One town we visited was a mountain town full of spice and tea estates. Breathing fresh crisp air was so relaxing to my soul. It was such a good time to get away from the hustle and bustle of crazy Hyderabad and relax in “God’s own country”. I had so much time to evaluate my time here, deeply think about all the things God has taught me in the past 4 months and pray and seek for what my next step after college should be.

As I have been in India I have been reading iGracias! by Henry Nouwen. He has spoke such truth into my life and it is as though he wrote about my exact thoughts years before I ever dreamed of coming to India. Although his experiences were among the poor of Latin America, his writing relates exactly to what I have been experiencing in India. Today I read about his experience visiting the valley of Incas.

“Along the road small groups of Indians guiding cattle carried their loads of wood. These small, dark people with faces carved by nature and hard work evoked in me a sense of the sacred. In their silence, they spoke of centuries of care for the land, of a mysterious intimacy with nature, of an unceasing prayer to the God who has made their land fertile, and of a knowledge that we in our Volkswagen would never be able to grasp. The valley was filled with a holy silence; no advertisements along the roads, no factories or modern houses, no loudspeakers or shouting vendors. …When we came back to Cuzco I felt refreshed, renewed and grateful to the Indian people for this healing gift of silence”.

This sums up my experience of Kumali.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Dad in India



My dad was here in India for the past two weeks. He left last night to go to China where he will get to see my brother Robb. The day after he arrived we headed up to Rajasthan to visit the desert town of Jaisalmer. We got to see the beautiful fort, which he really loved. I just love that town. It's so secluded and out in the middle of no where. As we traveled, my dad loved meeting the people on the trains, in the rickshaws and on planes. He had so many questions for everyone as he tried to get a grasp of this new country. We met some men on the train who shared their dinner with us, which was a fun Indian experience :) In Jaipur He got to meet my host family. We stayed in a nice hotel and I read most of the day. We had a great home cooked meal by Mummyji. It was so nice to just relax! I enjoyed having him in Hyderabad. He was in meetings a lot of the time, and I was busy working, but we were able to share some evenings together. It was SOO nice to have some home cooked meals in the flat he was staying in. Pasta, tacos, coffee, the wonders of having your own kitchen :) It was a nice break from rice and curry. He came and visited my work in the slums.
He loved playing with the kids. One day he bought pizza for the kids I tutor. I think it was their first experience eating pizza. It was one girl's first time drinking "cold drinks", which was such a funny experience. She drank pepsi, but wasn't used to the carbination so kept making the funniest face.
It was so nice to have him here. This was my second time traveling with just me and my dad. I hope there are many more to come! And hopefully Mom will join in on some traveling as well :) Although we did have lots of fun shopping for mom :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

freedom

I've started reading other people's blogs and it's inspired me. I've also found that I have stopped writing, and maybe that's why I haven't felt so much passion lately. Usually writing about my experiences and what I see stirs the life up in me and causes me to want change to take place.

This past few weeks I have been irritated by all the rules I have to follow; texting my supervisor before I leave campus, asking for permission to go across town, not being able to go by myself, with out a boy in the group, girls have to be back by 9 PM, or take an expensive taxi, there must be two girls to every boy whenever going out, can't talk to a guy for more than two minutes. I've felt so confined, and like a caged bird. I just wanted to get out and fly.

(taken in Younan Province, 2006)

I've been having a rough time getting out of bed in the morning for my quiet time. The snooze button keeps getting pushed and sleep keeps conquering the slight desire i have to get up and spend time with God. So this morning I put my alarm clock across the room and forced myself to get up at 6AM to meet God on the roof. I got up there and was so happy to be in the cool overcast morning, which I know will only last until 8. As I just poured out my heart to God, I began to look for verses and passages that talk about freedom. I wanted to be reminded of the freedom I have in Christ. So I came across 2 Corinthians which talks about the Glory of the New Testament. I wasn't so hooked on it, and didn't look so deep into the passage, but one verse stuck out like a soar thumb.

"Whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away"

I know this has to do with Moses and the veil he wore so that the Israelites wouldn't see the bright radiance , but it reminded me of a prayer I prayed all the time while I was in Rajasthan. It was that the spiritual and physical veil of the women of Rajasthan would be removed as people come to know Christ. That the veil which covered the Marwari people, and kept them from seeing the beauty of Christ would fall, and his glory would appear.

(Krishnanagar village, Rajasthan, 2009)

As I was reminded to pray for the Marwari women, I realized that I have SOOOOO much freedom compared to them, and that I am a free bird flying across the sky, landing in whichever land I find enticing and am able to enjoy that land.


(Kathmandu, Nepal 2007)

I'm so thankful for the word of God, that each day is new, the pain of yesterday, the laziness of yesterday, the bad attitude of yesterday doesn't have to stick with me to today, that I have been made anew and alive in Christ today.

Saturday, March 27, 2010



An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

-Solomon

Monday, March 22, 2010

It's the small things that count

Pluck this little flower and take it, delay not! I fear lest it droop and drop into the dust.
I may not find a place in thy garland, but honour it with a touch of pain from thy hand and pluck it. I fear lest the day end before I am aware, and the time of offering go by.

Though its colour be not deep and its smell be faint, use this flower in thy service and pluck it while there is time.

Rabindranath Tagore

Beautiful day. It's a choice.



Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we've taken
Lay down your regrets cause
all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
it's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
it's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I'm gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day



Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses
and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in
touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like
you've got something to prove
Remind yourself that there's only one you
Just take a moment to give
thanks of who you are


Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
it's a Beautiful Day

"Beautiful Day" India Arie

Monday, March 8, 2010

Just Pray.




It’s not so difficult. It’s really not complicated. You just pray.

Why is it that I’ve been able to submit some things to Christ, but tightly hold on to others? I just met with my research assistant and went over my questions that I will use to interview people about their growing up discriminated against because of their caste. At the end she prayed for me. She committed everything to God. My paper, what I write, who I interview, everything. She prayed this prayer with such sincerity, really relying on God to guide me. During the prayer she recited Psalms 121 which begins with “I look to the mountains-does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” It gave me such peace to know that during this time of research and school I simply need to call upon God to give me strength. And he REALLY does care about my research, each word I type, everything.

He says: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

He tells us to not doubt “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1:6

I don’t think I mean a lot of the prayers I really pray. I don’t think God will really answer them, that’s why I pray them every day. Haha. If I just prayed them with such sincerity of heart, I’m sure I wouldn’t spend so much time on the same prayers-for years. I would expand my concerns to things far greater than me.

My team was talking about a conference/meeting they have in the north where everyone gathers with the sick. People travel so far with their animals to have them prayed over so they will be healed. It sounds funny at first, to pray for your cow to be healed. But when you think about it, if you have no money to buy a new cow, if you have no way of replacing the cow, you will do ANYTHING to have that cow healed-you depend on God, because God is the only one who can do something. I was thinking about if I was in that situation I would simply buy a new cow, or a tractor for that matter. I wouldn’t ask God to heal it. I might not even think of it. Maybe I would pray, but in the back of my mind I would be thinking about how I could just buy another one.
I am gaining confidence in the prayers I pray, I’m learning to back my prayers up with sincere faith. It’s hard removing the world from my heart, but I’m trying to do that, and allow faith in Jesus to fill that spot.